What is this practice about?
Many people quietly carry a sense of loneliness inside. Often it’s not due to a lack of people around them, but rather because of the fear that holds us back exactly when it would be good to open up. Perhaps you, too, have experienced moments when you had to step in front of others, and instead of feeling confident and connected, you felt a tightening in your throat.
The Practice of Connecting is a short, gentle, yet deeply powerful presence practice that allows for genuine connection between you and another being—whether it’s a person, animal, plant, a space, or even an audience. This connection is not based on intention or behavior, but rather on a subtle alignment of attention and breath.
Through this practice, you not only create a more open and authentic presence but also experience a form of coexistence thatdoesn’t control, but harmonizes.
This practice helps you step into Related Presence, creating intimate, compassionate connections in which fears can gently dissolve. It is helpful when you start conversations, meet new people, prepare to teach, speak publicly, or whenever you need more confidence in daily life. Beautiful experiences can also unfold when you practice not only with people (animals or plants) but also with the space around you.
Step into Related Presence with me.
How to practice?
Since you are likely alone as you read this, let’s begin by connecting with the space around you.
Filling the Space – Confident Presence in Your Environment
Start with a few minutes of the Preparation relaxation exercise. This will help your body relax, becoming open and receptive. When you start feeling pleasantly relaxed, stand up in the middle of your room. Stand with your feet slightly apart, place your hands on your hips, and gently lift your chest with a deep breath. Now close your eyes and imagine breathing in the space around you, then exhale and expand yourself into that space. With each exhalation, feel yourself filling the room more completely. Breathe yourself into the spaces between furniture, even into the pores of the walls.
Your breath will naturally slow during this practice – you don’t need to control it. Simply observe it happening effortlessly.
- As you inhale, receive the room into yourself – not possessing, just acknowledging and accepting it, as if you were truly hearing, seeing, and welcoming someone else.
- As you exhale, fill the space with your presence. Give yourself gently to this flow.
Breathing in, the world comes into you. Breathing out, you become part of the world.
After two breathing cycles, open your eyes if they were closed, and continue this gentle filling and receiving for a few more minutes. Never force your breathing; remain gentle with yourself. Allow your breathing to naturally slow down and deepen, observing and flowing effortlessly with these changes.
Finally, let go of paying attention to your breath and simply be present. Notice new sensations and feelings arising within you.
Connecting with a Single Being
Let’s explore together how to practice connecting with another person, animal, or plant.
Your eyes can remain open or gently closed for a few moments, whichever feels more comfortable.
- Gently inhale without force, imagining you are welcoming the other into yourself – not as possession, but as an open, accepting presence.
- When exhaling, imagine breathing yourself into the other, giving yourself over to this connection. This isn’t submission, but the recognition: “I too am present, here, in you.”
A couple of breathing cycles are enough for this connection. Afterwards, move on to the practice of Dual Compassion, which deepens Related Presence by simultaneously connecting you with your inner world and the other being.
Connecting with a Group or Audience
If you’re preparing for a presentation or group session, it’s helpful to start by filling the space, which brings confidence, vitality, and a deeper presence. Close your eyes briefly, imagining that the many people become one person, then perform the connecting practice described above.
Closing Thoughts
Throughout this practice, you gradually realize that you are not an isolated observer but an integral part of the world itself, experiencing its breath through your own. In reality, you’re not truly connecting with anything because you were never truly separate. It’s only your attention that creates the sometimes painful, sometimes beautiful illusion of separation and connection. But don’t take my word for it. Simply consider: what happens when you eat a “dead” carrot? At what point does it stop being a carrot and become part of you?
This practice simply makes you aware of what is already here—that despite the boundaries of your identity, you are fundamentally one with everything around you. You might also recognize that your connection with the world isn’t merely theoretical, but a biological fact. The air you inhale literally becomes part of your body, and what you exhale can nourish and become part of other living beings.
Through the rhythm of breathing, your attention gently awakens consciousness, gradually experiencing its own expansiveness. Boundaries begin to soften. It’s no longer “I am here in the space,” but rather “the space and I are parts of a single flow.” Over time, the experience of “I am breathing” may shift into “breathing is happening”—as if the world breathes through itself, and you simply witness it. This witnessing itself is Related Presence.
